Colin Kaepernick Football Leauge Debuts in Austin

The one man football league struts into Austin.  Touchdown for footballs everywhere.

Kaepernick, who can't play in the NFL because he doesn't sing a song, serves simultaneously as the CKFL commissioner, chairman, CEO, head coach, and player.

This Sunday he'll be throwing lasers into swinging tires at distances representing the percentage of people of color imprisoned for drug crimes.  Other quarterbacking tricks will round out the 4 hour show, which will also be live streamed on the internet.

Tickets are on flail at wicketwaster.

"Pen mightier than the word," Trump retakes Dien Bien Phu

Saturday morning President Trump reclines on a sofa in a Mar-a-lago suite, white boxers and white undershirt.  "I just can't get the wifi to work," the President says as he directs various international conflicts with a smartphone app.

"I just need a few more gems before I can get more cards, and then their attack power will increase when I level up," the President says, referring to the members of Strike Force Silver Spoon.  The elite squad, comprised of the children and grandchildren of members of Congress, has been given the nod to spearhead the assault on Dien Bien Phu.  "It just wasn't right what they did, bad, very bad," the President says of the Viet Minh action of March 1954.

"Attack!," The President says as he wooshes a smartphone stylus pen across his tablet to launch the assault. Grinning at your correspondent as shots echo out of a tinnny speaker, he exclaims, "The pen is mightier than the word.  This thing is amazing, it even makes press releases."

The president's move comes amidst a spree or Asian warmongering in the press, and race baiting in the Atlantic capitals of Manhattan and the beltway.  "The world is our Homeland!"

Florida Man Targeted For Atheistic Reverie

It was a sunny orange-Growing day in Waxahachie, Florida that inspired Florida Man to go for a walk.  "It was so pretty, one of those dessert-looking sunsets" said Mr. Man, 33.  "I was staring at some storks in the wetlands when a god mash-up ran up and screamed in my face 'Don't have spiritual moments you godless shitbag!'"

 Mr. Man claims that his six-armed assailant next grappled with him and began beating him with a Mjölnir while screaming, "Go to hell!".  That's when Mr. Man was certain he was being targeted for his atheism.  "I didn't panic, I just rubbed his big fat belly for good luck, and well, you can see me standing here now, can't you?," said Mr. Man of the altercation, adding "Thankfully MMA is unholy."

Reports of racial and religious minorities being targeted have increased, and Mr. Man's incident increases yet another report.  "I just try to stick to the facts, so that I know when I am the news," said Mr. Man.

 

Trump a Son of Political Correctness

Richer than Richie, till you niggas come and get me

I know you sick of this, name brand nigga wit
flows girls say he's sweet like licorice
So get with this nigga, it's easy

Could these lines have been written about Donald Trump?  There isn't a publication out there that would publish those words, even if they were otherwise fit to print in terms of ideas. Calling someone a nigger is against the rules. But who decides what is politically correct?  Is it done by consensus, or are their ideas, leaders, philosophies that are dominant.  Is it simply the cream rising to the top?  

The word poets have been printing money playing with these rules, making the most of taboo, even embracing it as their own identity, much like a cancer destroys its host.  Is it taboo if everyone is doing it?  Trump has succeeded in the same way, he pivots around the ideas that make up "common sense," and has made political capital out of the failures of the system that we are all apart of.  People reject his membership in the system, and that only increases the power of his pivot.  "The election is rigged."  Every election is rigged: there has to be an outcome.  People don't vote, and then afterwards, the election disappears.  No, there is a winner.  More specifically, there are many cases of gerrymandering (shout out to Rep. Lamar Smith and your bullshit district).  How can we deny that there are shortcomings?  How do we decide that transgender bathrooms are a higher priority than feeding children, global warming, or how to fund schools? 

Imagine two communities, both in decline after their sole source of jobs has disappeared.  Now imagine that one community is full of bigots, and that the other isn't.  If you could only help group, which one would it be?  Hopefully you're wondering about the other attributes of these two places to help you decide.  I'm not suggesting that bigots have been ignored economically because they are bigots, but that ideas clump together.  Even if the people in charge are representative, they are human, we are all human.  They make mistakes, but what mistakes do they make?  Trump connected some dots, and even if it ugly in my opinion, it definitely has legs.  Any political success should be taken seriously.

Well if them whiters got something against colors then they don't deserve anything.  Let em rot, cut off my nose and spite my face.  Those people don't deserve anything.  Hey, why'd we send all of our jobs to communism and slavery.  We could have kept all that right here, we coulda been the slaves, we coulda taken the money straight from the feds like we used to for the communism part.   People are people, unless they use racial slurs, then we can discard all of their ideas along with their humanity.  Let's just vote against them and consider our responsibilities fulfilled.  That's how democracy works.  We vote and we win and then the losers lose and we exist as two separate halves, together, peacefully, taken for granted.  

Having topics or words that we can't mention, how is that an open discussion? How can the agenda be fairly set when the parameters are already decisively narrowed?

Remediation methods:  The stereotypes, the media, the methods, they should all be subverted.  Isolate the bigots, send them to live with the people they hate, alone.  Film it, make TV, sell the ads, whatever.  How about a hollywood movie with an all black cast?  How about Ru Paul for President?  Most importantly, this doesn't have to challenge the system: people will pay to watch entertaining shit, especially if it is the only shit they can buy, and they love to buy shit.

Trump is the Ruse for Terrorism

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Community Service Deemed Terroristic

A pack of hounds drools over their kibble, but at a large conference desk.  Expensive hardwood.  The right to create is illegal, because it didn't pay tax.  Begin the airstrikes on the libraries, people must be killed and then skinned.  You voted in the paperwork, and then you did not follow the appropriate steps to live.  Burn.  Now we have to spend our precious resources defending our resources that you have made for us, but we spend it because of you.  This is not brow-beating, just look at the law.  It says what you are doing is illegal, and the link between you and the law is clear.  You approve the law, but disobey it.  It is your inconsistency.  Do you really want to watch TV for free?  That is a crime.  Get a job.  Organizing is prohibited unless  it makes money for people who already have the money.  We are not cynical, we are eating kibble.  Please don't bother us with your bullshit.  Also, it is a crime.  Just wait 20 years and put the stuff you like in a library and work for us for that whole time while you are waiting.  Be paitent, then you can enjoy a taste of the fruits of human creativity.  Until then, follow the fucking rules.  Now, we have sent the bombs on top of you.  You are the criminal.






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Mary Lou Bruner has probably never encountered viagra outside of her spam box, so shes' likely completely unaware of the chance that POTUS, somewhere in the halls of power, might be fapping to her picture.  It almost makes me wish I had never learned anything about statistics; life would be much better that way.  But hopefully schoolchildren will learn to respect themselves after they are treated like Spam Boxes by someone with a clearly inferior intellect.

PS I would have way more respect for Obama if he had bounced back from being a drug addled whore.  Way more.






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